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I seriously have been in such a horrible, sad/grouch/anti-social mood. Going to Houston this weekend was hard for me in more ways than one. I had to fight the fact that I was feeling down and anti-social and deal with the cost, which money in general was getting me down as well. Just like God knows me so well, though, our tax return came in early - while we were over there, so what a RELIEF! That helped a lot! I have been fighting major Fibro flare-ups, though. I'm not taking care of myself like I need to right now, which I totally acknowledge. I'm not drinking my Shakeology regularly, taking supplements, etc. I did find a WONDERFUL natural product that helps my headaches and pains. It also helps Joey's neuropathy and pain as well, so we ran out quickly! Oh, I need more! Naturally, I've decided to become a distributor because I don't have enough, right? LOL But it was free to become a distributor and I LOVE the Inspirin, so it just made sense to me! :) But anyway, so I had to call in a million times to get my Wellbutrin refilled just to have the Dr call and leave a voicemail lecturing me about not having an appt yet. As if I haven't tried! Everybody says you just have to push them. Yeah, calling them every day for a month isn't trying?? I don't have time for more than that! Well, I didn't want to take that high dose anymore because I have ZERO appetite - hence why I'm not eating well and taking care of myself - and I even feel nauseous most of the time! It's miserable! I told my Dr this, and he had decided to INCREASE my dose instead. Um, NO. I think I'll just wait until I have my appt with my psychiatrist at the end of March. I really do like my PCM, but for one, I can't EVER get an appt and for two, although I feel like he cares I did still feel like he didn't really LISTEN to me. So yeah, overall I've been feeling like poo, and it's totally affecting my mood. Not to mention last week I had my lovely cycle start up again. Yes, I'm glad it took over 18 months postpartum, but my fear I think might be true - it's going to be totally random, unpredictable, and as usual extremely painful and miserable. And wow was *I* miserable and VERY, VERY tired.

So I thought after we got through the weekend and the overwhelming things that come along with it - including trying to explain Sensory Processing Disorder to people who look at your daughter like she's either crazy or has a "bad attitude" is overwhelming. It's particularly overwhelming when you don't have an official diagnosis because surely people don't think parents actually know their own kids and know about different issues that exist. Seriously, once one child has something "different" you start to learn A LOT of other things as well. I'm not going to go into all of that right now because seriously just the thought that all 3 kids probably have special needs can be a bit overwhelming. I know it's obviously nothing we can't handle or God wouldn't have given us such a responsibility, but it's still overwhelming - particularly when people don't understand and would rather make it seem like you're a bad parent than admitting the child may have a legitimate condition. So anyway... I'll save those thoughts for another day because seriously my headache is so horrendous and my Fibro flare is so bad I am amazed I even typed this much. So yeah, so much for starting to feel better this week! Mentally/emotionally I feel a little better but the lack of sleep, Fibro flares, headaches, etc. are affecting my mood, too. Definitely ready for this to blow over. So, if I seem a bit "distant" this is definitely why. I'm truly just "out of it," but if you need me I'm still here! :)