Busy times

Well, I wanted to keep up with my personal blog as much as my Pea of Sweetness site, but it's just been so busy. I'm going to start blogging every day type stuff on there and leave this to the more personal stuff mostly for friends, but I'm leaving it public because who knows who might stumble upon it for a purpose! Yes, there are times I think wow, should I really post this? Then I realize it's life - OUR life. I feel like God has a purpose for everything, and I often feel my purpose is to share our "crazy" life to show others it is OK and He is there! You are not alone! Despite anything and everything that has happened in my life my hope is in Him!

The past two weeks in this house have been far from tame! From my finally getting an appt with my new psychiatrist, preparing for a big expo, Joey's usual Dr appts plus a nerve block a couple days ago (which is still hurting him unfortunately), and my monthly "friend," which I'm pretty sure is blowing up into PMDD again (severe PMS as in I can barely function for 2-3 days), mooselion's IFSP and setting up his therapy, etc. Good times! LOL Seriously, I'm WIPED OUT!

So, that's what's going on! Results of the going ons: Joey is finally getting put into the Med Board. Obviously we've only been here 5 months, but I say "finally" because of the whole incident at Ft Belvoir because we all know it should have been done then! Haha Mooselion starts weekly in-home therapy for his speech delay next week and will be referred for a hearing test (standard, of course) and a sensory evaluation (by my request). So far, everything has gone smoothly!

My appt was OK. I'm kind of "Eh" about my psychiatrist, but he's definitely very intelligent and makes a lot of sense. He is actually decreasing my Wellbutrin with the intent of getting off of it. He said since I went straight from the Zoloft to Wellbutrin I never had a chance to see how I'd do without one, which is true. Of course, I'm all about eliminating medications, so I'm willing to go with this! As far as evaluations for OCD and ADD (though my former psychiatrist did already diagnose me with mild OCD) he said we are going to wait.  Based on my family history of growing up with an alcoholic in a negative environment certain psycho social disorders can appear to be things like depression, OCD, etc., but since it's psycho social it isn't actually these conditions because they are diseases (medical), which is why they're treated with medications. So anyway, I start counseling in a couple weeks, and we go from there. My counselor and my psychiatrist are in the same office, so that is nice plus it's extremely close!

Although he didn't mention it to me in conversation he did send me home with paperwork on Borderline Personality Disorder. I've read it, talked to Joey about it, Googled it, etc. I think another thing I need to do that I'm holding back on is talk to some of my close friends growing up, family members, etc. A lot of it seems extreme, and if you know me now or maybe don't know me extremely well you might think I don't "fit" that diagnosis. If I go back, though, I can definitely say I did - it's why I say I'm grateful God's grace pulled me back to him because I was in a dark place. Although I am no longer in that dark place I can't ignore that I was and that it would definitely fit that diagnosis, and quite a few of the criteria STILL fit me - just not the extreme ones. Since it's already 3am, though, I'm not going to go all in depth, but basically I think it's very possible I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's almost relieving that I can identify with those feelings and know I'm not the only one! I guess I will continue to learn more and then I'm assuming that's the first thing I'll be discussing with my new counselor! If anybody is extremely familiar with it please let me know!

As for next week things really won't be letting up! Joey has THREE nerve blocks on Monday and mooselion starts his therapy on Thus. But overall, that's not a full schedule for us, so it will probably be an "easy" week! Please pray that his nerve blocks go well and don't cause so much pain this time (they're re-doing the one from this week since it clearly didn't work). They're doing one for his hands which is a risky procedure because he could lose some function in his hands if it goes wrong, so please pray for God's guidance for his doctors on Monday!

Because I have been so stressed lately I know I may not express it enough, but I appreciate all the prayers, love, and support! (And I'm sorry if I've seemed super grouchy!!) <3